As I grow in faith,the scripture that says that , except God builds a house the builders work in vain and unless God protects a city, the guard watches in vain. – Psalms 127:1 begins to makes more sense and I am able to transverse it to every area of my life
Let’s rewrite this to context- except God builds a friendship, the friends work in vain and except God protects the friendship, the friends guard and fight for it in vain.
God created us in such a way that we are able to thrive from the relationships that we are able to establish here on earth:
- The relationship we have with God
- The relationship we have with our immediate family
- And relationships that we have with people in our immediate environment ( far and near)
But sometimes, these friendships that are supposed to help us thrive, be our support system here on earth may just seem too much of a struggle to maintain or keep up with. Some days come and you just feel like living a life alone is just enough.
If God wanted us to live isolated lives, He probably would have created us in different planets by ourselves to thrive. God has designed our lives in ways that we need our communities to survive, and destinies are intertwined and interdependent on each other in some way.
Let me try to describe what I mean, Lot needed Abraham to save him and his family when his family was captured by Kedorlaomer during a war outbreak in Sodom and Gomorrah. Genesis 14:1-17 . The Israelites needed Moses to save them from bondage,David needed Jonathan to give him inside scoop of what was happening in the palace to be able to strategize to stay alive. Elijah and Elisha’s friendship ensured that Elijah’s anointing didn’t leave earth with Him. Elisha was able to get a double portion of Elijah’s anointing.
Jesus needed His disciples to pass on the baton of doing good, preaching the gospel and healing the sick when He went back to heaven to take His throne. And the list goes on and on…..
In summary, I am trying to say is that God approves of friendships here on earth and He would love to be involved in the friendships we build. It is an important channel through which we can attract blessings into our lives or the opposite.
- Screen the Friendship Through God’s Standard: God has a standard for our lives and so does He for our friendships. A friendship that will last and stand the test of time is the type of friendship that meets all the expectations of the Lord. For example, does this friendship of yours draw you closer to God or pull you away? does this friendship bring out the best in you or does it drain the life out of you and so on….
Jesus Christ came to die on the cross so that we can have seamless friendship with the father and also that we may have life in abundance. Therefore, any friendship that sucks all that from you isn’t the friendship God has planned for you.
- Make God the third cord in your friendships: Once your friendships meet the expectations of God, inviting Him to the centre of the friendship is essential for such friendships to thrive. God is the living water that springs to life every single thing He touches. Moreso, the bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 4:12 how a three braided cord is not easily broken. Whatever friendship we have can be likened to tying two cords which is great but then imagine, adding a third cord to the two. Breaking the cord will be almost impossible!
Therefore, if you love your friends so much, Invite God into your friendships today. Allow Him to guide, stirr, inform the decisions you make in the friendships. I promise you that you will not regret inviting Him your friendships. The thing is when God is at the center and the third cord, petty things like eny, jealousy, anger, greed and so on is less likely to be able to conquer.
- Learn to Listen & Learn to Ask questions: God gave us two ears and a mouth for a reason; to listen more than we speak just as the bible tells us in James 1:19-20. As budding christians,dying to self is a practice we should be accustomed to; putting others before ourselves, being willing to serve all the time even in our friendships. Let us not be self-centered and always talk about ourselves and our needs all the time.
While Jesus walked with His close friends while on earth, there was this sense of calmness and genuine interest in His friends that I sense. He paid close attention to the things they said, He asked them questions when He needed to.
- Empathize and sympathize with your friends: A good example is Job‘s friends when he went through his season of deep grief, His three friends went to his house, tore their clothes, sat with him for seven days in silence to grief with him. If that isn’t sympathy and empathy, I don’t know what it is.
But I realize that more than often, we christians tend to always want analyze situations, try to find the root cause and the find the solution to every difficult season our friends may be going through, which is great! But I am learning that sometimes, we need to chill and just be there for our friends.
- Encourage each other in Lord: As Job’s story continued to unfold, we see that they got to a point where they started over analyzing Job’s season, trying to ascribe reasons for his situation and they were wrong most of the times. They could have just kept quiet or just encouraged Him in the Lord. May the good Lord give us wisdom to know when to be quiet in our friendships and when to encourage our friends in the Lord in Jesus Lord.
- Pray Together: Friends that pray together stay and Stick together! The bible tells us in James 5:16 that we should confess our sins to each other and pray for one another so that we may be healed. Jesus also shows us the power in praying in agreement with a friend. In Matthew 18:19-20 , He said when two people agree in prayer about anything here in earth, God in heaven will do it and also when two people gather in His name, He is there, Imagine! every single time, you and your friend hang out or have conversations that glorify the name of Jesus, He is there! Mind blowing, isn’t it!
- Love Your Friends Always: The last but the greatest of them all after the love of the father. For us to be able to love our friends at all times, regardless of whatever may pop in the friendship(good or bad) it takes the love of God and the love for God to do this seamlessly.
I Corinthians 13:1-13 gives us the guideline to love just the way God will want us to. I pray that we are strengthened by the Holy Spirit to love just as He loves us and also have thriving friendships in Jesus name.