The Art of Forgetting, a component of forgiveness and freedom from Trauma

The good Lord gave me an experiential insight into trauma this week and I understood why and how people live with trauma for years. This blog post does not by any means disregard the emotions or pains that anyone might have experienced. It is also noteworthy that this post is inexhaustive on the kinds of trauma one may suffer. I may never understand the trauma that comes after certain experiences. But I realized and learned that living with trauma is a decision; a decision to forgive and forget. This knowledge first came to my cognizance from a book I began to read with the title Purple by Chinenye Helen Eze.

As you read this blog post, I hope that you see the light and receive help from the Lord to forgive, forget, and move past that mind-crippling encounter in Jesus’ name.

So last week began with an interaction that left a sour taste on my tongue. So sour that it made me feel bullied, gaslighted, and the like. These were the only things I had my mind fixated on as the week progressed. Every other hour, my mind would shift its focus to that interaction, replay the scene over and over while it reminded me of the emotions I felt in that moment. This fixation translated into the way I interacted with the person. I very much had to forgive this person although this person never asked for it. It is the only right to do to keep enjoying sweet communion with the Father and to live a life free of emotional turmoil. But I did not forget what this person did to me, therefore every time I saw and interacted with this person at work – I was cold.

Every morning I woke up with the intent and plan to do better but as soon as I saw this person, everything came rushing back and spotaneously I recoiled into this girl who felt bullied. One of the evenings during the week as I went back home, I was so deep in thought that I almost cried about the whole situation. I had no choice but to cry out to the Lord for help that night. To God be the glory, He answered me. My miracle began with a haha moment. This haha moment came for me the next day when I wanted to tell this person something and I found myself spontaneously covering my mouth out of fear. Right there and then I knew I was becoming a fearful child of God which isn’t God’s plan for me. That is not how I am! I may be shy but I am not fearful, not fearful to express myself, and not even at work. I realized that If I let it continue like that, it would degenerate and perhaps be tagged as trauma from a severed interaction.

Praise be to God for His Holy Spirit who helps us to walk through life. I thought things through after that interaction and the Holy Spirit pointed out to me that my choice to keep remembering was keeping me in a choke-hold. And if care isn’t taken, it could degenerate into a stronghold or may be diagnosed as a mental illness. Oh! How fast I swung into action! I chose to forget there and then and only fix my eyes on the goodness of Jesus. It did not happen that same day but the next day. I got home and prayed to God for help to choose to forget and He answered me.

I am no longer the girl who felt traumatized from a not-so-pleasant interaction. I may not fully understand how you feel or the pains that are relished as you think about the past. But I fully know that the power to overcome and love past trauma, and anxiety is available. It may even be inside of you if you are a child of God because God’s word says that He that is in you greater than He that is in the world – I John 4:4. God’s word also says that “a smart person knows how to hold their tongue and their grandeur is to forgive and forget– Proverb. 11:19MSG.

The NKJ version says that “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And His glory is to overlook a transgression“.

Proverbs 11:19

As I read this translation, it is as though the opposite happens when a man or woman chooses not to overlook transgression against him. Because, if we think about it – people are propelled to swing into revenge mode when they are so fixated on the wrong that has been done against them. Human revenge doesn’t have a pleasant look neither does it bring glory to God. God has made us in such a way that we should live and exhibit His radiant glory.

But sin is the dirt that stains the beautiful shining garment God has designed for us. It is sin that strips us of our God-given regalia and makes man bare and exposed to the crafts of the enemy. If there is anything you take away from this blog post, please note that choosing to hold on to offense, and human transgressions leaves you bare to oppression, depression, and trauma because that is all that you can and will ever think about. When the bible tells us to only think about whatever is true, pure, and noble – Phillippians 4:8. The way you feel when you remember what was done to you is not the absolute truth about you! The Truth about you is only the things God says about you, God’s word about you. You are redeemed, you are saved, you are chosen, you are loved, you are healed. The list goes on and on and you can only find them in God’s word.

The enemy’s plans are three-fold: to kill, steal, and destroy. More than often he latches on to the things he can find in our lives to execute his plans. I beg you in the name of the Lord to let go of that hurt, forgive, and forget because it brings you a lot of healing and wholeness to forgive and forget.

My dear beloved who is struggling to even fathom the word forgive and even more so to forget. I daresay it is because you haven’t met Jesus Christ who came to forgive the multitude of sins, He came to show us how to forgive, and He came to help us forgive the most hurtful things. He has changed my life so much and He keeps helping me to live above hurt, unforgiveness, and trauma. I invite you my dear to meet Jesus Christ, the Lord and saviour of the whole world. Acknowledge Him in your life, confess your sins to Him, and invite Him into your life as well. Once that is done, I encourage you to ask Him to point you to the right people and church that can help you grow in your new faith and live above unforgiveness and hurt. If you have a question for me, please shoot me an email at info@abimbolaswalk.com.

You may also get a copy of my new book – Hearing the Voice of God. This book highlights moments in my life when I sought God’s face and heard His voice about different things in my life.