More than often, even more than often, if not all of the time when Proverbs 31 is mentioned or talked about – the focus is usually on the woman described in the chapter. I have never listened to a sermon or read any teaching or article that highlighted the kind of man described in that chapter. Well, it is noteworthy that behind the Proverbs 31 woman who does valiantly is a Proverbs 31 man who provides an enabling environment. What do I mean? Let us have a close look at Proverbs 31 together. I’d start by saying that it is noteworthy to point out that Proverbs 31 was written by a man, a king – King Lemuel. This King had been taught by his virtuous mother the things to look out for in a woman whom he would make wife.
He started off the chapter by letting us know the advice he got from his mother. His mother said to him,
“Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings”– Proverbs 31:3 This succinct sentence is a pointer to so many things the husband of a Proverbs 31 woman should be. Let us start with the last word in the sentence – King. Every Proverbs 31 woman is deserving of a KING! Before, you come at me to say, “How many kingdoms are there for every man to be a king?” Well, I put it to you that a man who is head of a family is a King. Because He is literally calling the shots that move the family forward, his jurisdiction entails being submitted to the Lord so that he can lead and guide the family right. So you see my dear, every Proverbs 31 woman is deserving of a KING! A king who is able to lead and serve just as Jesus Christ, the King of Kings did while He was on earth. My dear woman working towards attaining the title of the Proverbs 31 woman, before you say yes to that man, make sure he checks the mark of being a king. For example, a king will not give his strength to women. My interpretation of this sentence is, “A king will not expend so much energy chasing, and wooing so many women at the same time, he would not expend energy sleeping with women of easy virtue or everything in skirts and shorts. A King knows the woman he wants, pursues her, and loves her as the Lord has commanded him.
Even more salient, King Lemuel’s mother tells him and all other Kings not to go in the way that destroys kings. My dear brother, you know those things that destroy kings, a little lie here and there destroys kings – it doesn’t help a King’s image if he is perceived as a liar, and neither is it good for a king to have evil vices. You my dear know those vices that kings should not be meddled with, you my dear know those things that you would frown at when you see a king do it. So my dear young or old brother in the Lord looking for a Proverbs 31 woman, ask yourself – “Am I a Proverbs 31 Man?” A Proverbs 31 man starts off his life by giving it to Jesus Christ who has been given authority over everything on earth. Every Proverbs 31 man who wants to be a great King over his house starts off by receiving salvation, receiving the life of Jesus Christ who is the King of Kings. When you receive this life, only there and then are you able to live like a King. But please dear King, do not stop at just receiving the life of Jesus Christ, go on to become baptized in the Holy Ghost. This baptism is what would enable and empower you to live like a king to your Proverbs 31 wife.
It is not for Kings, O Lemuel, It is not for Kings to drink wine, nor for princes intoxicating drink- Proverbs 31:4-7: There may be a little controversy here and there about the wine drinking but I would like to point our focus to the meat of this verse. The salient point here is this king will never drink wine to the point that he is intoxicated and cannot make reasonable decisions. The only form of intoxication permitted for a king is intoxication in the Holy Ghost. Ephesians 5:18 sums it up for us – Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit
Open Your Mouth for those who cannot speak for themselves- Proverbs 31:8: This for me is a pointer to a King who doesn’t live for himself, he is conscious of the fact that God has put him on earth for a purpose. Even more so, kings do not live for themselves, they are put in place to cater to their subjects, and they are put in place to serve their subjects. In this same light, a Proverbs 31 man knows His purpose on earth, He knows the people He should speak up for. These people could range from oppressed adolescents, to women being molested, or children who do not have access to good education. The world is waiting for the manifestation of you dear king to speak up for these people, to liberate them from bondage. This kind of King is one deserving of a woman worth more than rubies, this is the kind of King deserving of a help-mate to serve his subject.
Open Your Mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy- Provers 31:9: This is still in sync with verse 8, this is a King who just like Jesus Christ goes about his father’s business – doing good and shining His light everywhere he goes. He doesn’t live for himself, a selfless man or son of God he is.
The heart of her husband trusts her – Proverbs 31:11: This is a man who is secure in himself, he is not by any means jealous of his wife’s achievements. He is constantly cheering her on. He is not the kind of husband who has trust issues and is constantly bugging her phone because he thinks every male friend she has is her boyfriend. This king knows exactly the kind of wife he married, he knows she is a virtuous woman of God. Even more so, because of the way he loves, he does not need to worry or constantly throw tantrums because of his trust issues. Even if he ever has doubts about his wife’s love, this king has the wisdom of God to handle it wisely so that the home is preserved. And even if he doesn’t have the wisdom, he would ask the Lord for it. Ultimately, the Proverbs 31 man trusts his Proverbs 31 woman.
She Provides a portion of food for her maidservants- Proverbs 31:15: At this junction, I would love to point out that the Proverbs 31 woman had some help from her maidservants. I have heard of stories where the man of the house objects to allowing maidservants in the house to help with some house chores. Every human being on this earth needs one form of help or the other, even the King whom God has made Lord over the house needs his help-mate to function optimally so therefore when your Proverbs 31 woman points out that she needs some form of help from a maidservant, please listen to her and work things out with the help of the Holy Spirit.
She considers a field and buys it from her profits she plants a Vineyard – Proverbs 31:16: All I can see here is a King who is aware of his purpose, who did not feel like a weaker vessel because of his wife’s achievements. I see a woman who allowed his wife to thrive, to blossom, a King who cultivated his wife into a strong woman who makes decisions by herself. I see a King who is by no means threatened by his wife’s accomplishments. So my dear brother in the Lord looking for a Proverbs 31 woman, are you ready to cheer her up when she is winning? Are you ready to cultivate and build her up so that she is confident enough to tell you all of her plans?
Her Husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land: All I see here is an accomplished man, a man who has earned the respect of so many people in the society, even more, so the respect of people older than him. I can only imagine how much work this kind of man must have put in to earn this much respect. I can imagine the amount of Grace, and God’s favor upon him for him to attain this height. Dear young man, see this man, work towards being like him, pray to be like him and my dear God will help you in Jesus’ name.
Her Children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also and he praises her – Proverbs 31:28: I believe many women would love to hear their husbands speak so highly of them, they would love to hear positive and constructive feedback from their husbands, not a man who tears her down with spiteful words. A Proverbs 31 Man builds up his wife with his words, he also blesses her from the depths of his heart.
May our men become Kings, and may our women become virtuous. May Kings obtain favor from the Lord to find their virtuous women and may kingdom marriages be established upon the heart now in Jesus’ name.