The Family and the church are systems the Lord put in place to exemplify, portray, share, and radiate His unending love to the world. I am thankful to God that we are surrounded by families and churches fulfilling this purpose. If we take a close look at the amazing people in the world who exemplify the love of God, I am confident that their family, the church, or both had a huge influence on their Godly demeanor. The family and the church of God play such a solid role in the development of humans and the world at large.
sadly, many men and women delve into marriage without fully understanding the roles they would need to play as parents. The same also applies to the members of the body of Christ – many of us do not fully understand our roles as light in the kingdom of God. I was so heart broking this past week, I just wanted to scream to the whole world -“PLEASE DO NOT GET MARRIED, IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE!”” Many just delve into it because they have butterflies in their belly and end up raising broken children which then leads to broken societies. More than twice, this past week I heard firsthand stories and reports of people who had not-so-great experiences in their families or the church. The ripple effect is so heart-wrenching, that I wept. Sadly, these stories are only minuscule in the grand scheme of things in the world.
At this point, it is safe to say that all of the chaos and pain that stems from families and the church is based on ignorance. There is no personal understanding or knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. Every single thing God did, every single thing Jesus Christ did all stemmed from Love, from compassion for humanity, for the lost souls, for the oppressed, for the depressed, for the needy, and so on. It is not God’s plan or will that anyone feels unloved because God Himself is Love.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son. That whosoever believes in Him would not perish but have eternal life –
John 3:16
Jesus Christ moved with compassion for them, and healed the sick.
Matthew 14:14
This was a man who just lost His cousin, probably mourning His cousin – John the Baptist. If we look at the preceding verses in Matthew 14, we see that Jesus Christ had just learned about the death of His cousin, John the Baptist. Matthew 14:13 tells us that as soon as He heard, He went on a boat and went to be by Himself. Let us for a moment just imagine humanly the kind of things that He could have been going through in that moment. He probably sought comfort from the Lord in that moment but the multitudes couldn’t care less – they came after Him. Immediately He saw them, He was moved with Compassion for them and He healed them. He had every right to tell them to “get lost!” But compassion drove Him, compassion informed His decision, and Compassion compelled Him to care for the Lost and the needy. So you see how much it breaks my heart to hear or see a different scenario in the church of God.
Furthermore, Apostle Paul takes his time to explain what love is in the I Corinthians chapter. Apostle Paul wrote all of his epistles from a place of deep revelation of the mind of Christ which is why the body of Christ references his books a lot. You know it blows my mind that the Lord says to us in I Corinthians 13:4
And though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all the mysteries and all the knowledge, and though I have all the faith so that I could move mountains, but I have not love, I am nothing.
I Corinthians 13:3
This means that no matter the number of miracles one does or the number of gifts one exhibits if they are all done without the Love of God and Love for His children- it is nothing! So you see my dear, everything in God’s kingdom is done on the precedent of His Love for us all. In so many ways all through scripture, the Lord points us to His love and encourages us to be submerged in it so that we can spread it.
Imagine if Abraham, our father of faith lacked the love of God, he wouldn’t have cared so much for his nephew Lot.
- He loved him so much that he interceded on his behalf when Sodom and Gomorrah were to be destroyed.
- I also see his love shine through in his interaction with Sarah, his wife in Genesis 21. Sarah lashed out at Abraham when she saw Hagar despise her after she bore Ishmael. Every time I read that portion of the bible, I become frustrated on behalf of Abraham because tell me what you “really” want woman! You told me to sleep with Hagar and I did, what is all this drama you are pulling now? But Abraham treated Sarah with the Love of God and sought direction from the Lord. This is how families should be, seeking guidance from the Lord always.
- I also see Abraham’s love shine through in his interaction with his servants and household. I mean tell me how many masters can entrust a decision as huge as choosing a wife for their son to a servant? Abraham had developed that lovely relationship with his servant, Eliezer – (Genesis 15). Even more beautiful it is to read how Eliezer was committed to the task till the end. I put it to you that it can only be done by one who has enjoyed a loving relationship with their master.
Therefore I am writing this blog post with the hopes that it at least changes one person at a time, with the hopes that someone who reads this would let go of the offense from church and forgive the offender(s). I am writing this to hope that a parent reads this and receives the healing they need to thrive at parenting. I am writing this with the hopes that a child who reads this can forgive their parent, receive their healing, embrace the love of God, and flourish in the love of God. With that said, I shall address the following parties separately:
The Parents:
Parenting isn’t just praying to God for children, birthing them, and sending them to the best schools. Parenting entails loving and nurturing children with the love of God. The love of God is patient and doesn’t keep a record of the wrongs of the children once they are corrected, the Love of God instructs them in Love and corrects them with love even when the rod needs to be used.
Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4
I love the bible verse above a lot but sadly, it isn’t one I often hear in the kingdom of God. The Lord says we should not provoke our children to anger but lead them in the way of the Lord. One of the keywords in this verse is to lead them with instruction that comes from the Lord. I listened to an interview with Mummy Gloria Bamiloye and Jay Mikee; in that interview, she mentioned how they made different decisions as they pertained to their different children as directed by God. Every single child God blesses us with is different and hence must be instructed, disciplined, raised, and nurtured differently as guided by the Lord. What this means is that every parent should be close to God, and draw near to God so that He can help you steward the gifts He has blessed you with. Especially in this age and time when things easily sway our children on the internet, we do not want to lose them to the hands of the devil.
My advice to parents is to get lost in the presence of God, accept Jesus into your lives, and experience His love for yourself. This way you can apologize easily to your children, you can have great conversations with them, and ultimately you can raise Godly seeds for the earth. I pray that the good Lord helps you raise your children in the way of the Lord in Jesus’ name. Just a quick note to parents who may think their relationships with their children are beyond repair – there is nothing too hard for God to do. Accept Him into your life and cry out to Him to help you navigate your relationship with your children. I used to have a love-hate relationship with my parents because I thought they just never understood me. I got into lots of arguments with them when I was in college but thank God for the salvation of my soul. I believe their non-stop prayers for me and my siblings turned things around. I got saved in 2016 and I started to see differently and to God be the Glory, we have a working relationship now.
Jesus is the answer!
Finally, to my young couples thinking of having children, please count the cost and make up your minds to pay the price to raise Godly children filled with the light and love of God May the Lord help us all in Jesus’ name.
The Children
My dear friend and child to “amazing” parents, I probably understand how you may have felt or how you feel right now about your parents. I would love to tell you that your parents may just not know better or all they do for you and to you is out of a place of the kind of love they have received. A great question to ask is, “What kind of love have they received?” Have they received the love of God or are they still yearning to be loved? Therefore, it is safe to say that if they knew better, trust me they would do better.
So, my dear, I would love to ask you to forgive them now. Forgive them for all they may have done to you or what they may do to you. It might get a little harder here, but I would love you to switch things up a little bit as directed by the Lord Himself. God says,
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land - Ephesians 6:1-3
You sure can do it by the power of the Lord Jesus Christ as you ask Him for Help. As you ask Him to obey them in the Lord, to honor them also ask Him to change them, transform them.
The Church of Christ:
As we have read and seen in I Corinthians 13:3 – we have a higher calling to LOVE. Anyone who isn’t able to live and express genuine love in the body of Christ hasn’t known God because God is love and anyone who shows love has been born of God – I John 4:7-8. A great call to action for us all is to go back to the secret place to know God for ourselves so that we can be living expressions of the living God on earth. It is saddening to hear the worst of things perpetuated by people in the fold. May the good Lord help us live above flesh and in tune with the love of God.
Finally on this note and subheading – God’s love was manifested toward us that God sent His only begotten son into the world, that we might live through Him- I John 4:9. The key word here is that we might live through Jesus Christ who embodies God’s love.
The Offended or Brokenhearted:
I recognize that there is something as church hurt and I am sorry that you or anyone you may know has been hurt in the church. The truth is that wasn’t and isn’t God’s plan for you or the church. God so loved you that He gave, He keeps giving and would not stop giving to you. The thing that you need to do is take the grief, pain, and hurt to Him. Ask Him for the strength to forgive the perpetrators of the evil. This way, you may be able to happily receive all the love He dotes on you. The truth is He keeps doting all His love on you but you are unable to see and receive it all because of all the unforgiveness and bitterness that has clouded your vision. Once again I am so sorry that you had to go through all that you did in the body of Christ but please come back to Jesus. By the leading of the Holy Spirit change your church if you know. In all your doing, please stay and remain with Jesus Christ.