Welcome to eight 

 The eight month of the year

 The month of "new beginnings"

 LOOL ( Laughing Out Loud; sadly)

 The beginning of the continuation of the frustration I have been feeling.

 That I have gone through in the last seven months

 Another start to keep asking my same questions

 Questions directed to the one who says He loves me

 The one who put me here and seems to have forgotten me
 Seems not to care for me

 Seems to be so mute

 Annoyingly mute even when I question Him

 Why on earth am I here for?

 Why on earth did you put me here???

 Why am I going through all these by myself 

 What happened to your Promise of walking with me through the storm

 What happened to you being there for me?!

 What happened to being my provider and defender?

 I do not feel defended, I do not feel the shield you said will be there for me.
 Actually, I feel crushed

 My bones are in severe pains

 My eyes swollen from nights of crying myself to sleep

 My head filled with thoughts of ending it

 It probably will be alot better 

 There cannot be a greater darkness than the one I see right now
 There just can't be.
 Sigh!

 Perhaps I have been forgotten, probably unforgiven
 Unforgiven for my sins
 But I did apologize

 I am truly sorry, why have you counted my sins against me, my Lord
 I am deeply and truly sorry.

 Be Merciful unto me God
 Let this truly be a fresh start for me
 Sigh!

Can I see the joy you said comes in the morning?
My sorrows sure have lasted more than a night

Or Is it cause I did not seek your approval before I did it?

 My mind is in shambles, Jesus couldn't have died for this pain that I feel
 Wasn't He wounded so I do not have to go through such an ordeal?
   
 

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For seven seasons of your life,
 You have been questioning my existence.

 Demanding for me to show up

 Crying and wailing 

 Suggesting that that I have forsaken you

 Thinking I would hold a grudge against you after you have asked for forgiveness.

 My mercy endures forever and it is new everyday

 Ask for it and it flows out generously to be consumed by my children
 And you are one of my children

 I have not forgotten you!

 How can I ?!

 From your mother's womb I already knew you,
 
 Even when you make your bed in the darkest darkness,

 I see you my love.

 I see you

 I see all your tears my child

 But I have been with you all this while my child

 Your sight was clouded by your teary eyes

 Your ears deafened by your loud and uncontrollable sobs

 Through your fiery furnace, I am there 

 Through your scariest  storm , I am there

 Shielding you from drowning

 Protecting you from getting scorched in the fire

 What you don’t know is that I am stretching you

 Moulding you to become all that I want

 To produce a man of faith

 A woman who can persevere like my son Jesus 

 7 seasons from now, you’d appreciate what  I am doing in your life

 You would see the whole picture, behold it's beauty

 Because in your seventh season is where and when I bring you to completion.

 So my dear

 Forget whatever it is you are going through 

 Forget your past pains

 Fix your focus on me

Let your eyes meet mine

Let your ears be tuned to my word
 
Because I am doing a new thing
 It’s about to spring up
 I’d cause water to break forth for your sake, even in your desert 
 I will make a glorious pathway for you in the midst of oceans of water.-Isaiah 43:13
 


 Inspired by  Isaiah 43

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