So you just met this girl or boy or man or woman, you have such great conversations. He/she seems to be so nice, he/she makes you laugh so hard, you really cannot go a day without texting & talking.
You find yourself staying up late at night to reminisce on conversations, how he/she made you laugh, how beautiful he/she is making you feel.
My days! You realize you might just be starting to feel some type of way about this person. You probably start crushing and then realize it is a mutual feeling
Yippeeeee! Nothing has felt as good as being liked back by the one you really like.
Then you have the conversation about the feelings you both are starting to feel and you are considering giving it a shot.
You are wondering and thinking to yourself, should I date him/her?
Let us start off explaining what dating is -According to Wikipedia,It is is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship.
In reality, it is somewhat similar- two people who seem to really like each other engage themselves romantically to see how it goes. But in my opinion, it is such an expensive venture!
Most of the times, people often leave these relationships with broken hearts, twisted mindsets that “men are scum” or “women are scum”. Not forgetting the emotional, financial, time investments made in the relationship
Therefore, at this point I do not recommend dating as it lacks precise purpose. Its most of the time a game of how long the emotions can last.
So my dear before you make that big decision about being with him/her, Make up your mind to:
Never Follow Your Heart!
In High school when many of my friends asked me for advice about a particular situation or boy, I’d be like follow your heart. O Lord! was I wrong! I deeply apologize to you for misleading you, I was greatly influenced by the kind of media I was consuming.
David allowed himself to be led by his heart; the sit of his emotions when he went after Bathsheba and he suffered for it. He could have saved himself all the pain and troubles he went through only if He had not followed his heart.
The same with Samson, he allowed his heart to lead him to Delilah and he lost his life in the process.
I have followed my heart a couple of times and it ended up in “”premium tears”, great heart turmoil. I really could have saved myself and the other person all that emotional stress. I shared bits of this story here
So rule number one is to never follow your heart. Your heart is fleshy, and has the tendency to mould and bend to whatever situation it may find itself or whatever situation you may allow it go through.
The heart of man is so fickle,deceitful and prone to change so quickly, only God can truly comprehend how it works- Jeremiah 17:9
You could follow your heart today, then tomorrow the way your heart feels changes or vice versa. And the relationship will probably have to end leaving one or both parties hurt.
Never Follow your brain or logic
So you may say “yeah” I will not follow my heart because of how fickle and untrustworthy it can be, I could follow my brain. I am super smart! I could do the maths or logically solve the puzzle to decide if this person will be great for me to be with. But there are many times that logic fails humanity in making predictions, that is why the word of God tells us never to lean on our understanding but put our every trust in Him and He will make guide us to make the right decisions. – Proverbs 3:5-6
Talk to God about the Person
Now that we have established not to follow our hearts neither should we follow our brains but be led by God. We can start our decision making process by speaking to God about that person you are starting to feel special about.
God is very interested in every aspect of our lives and really doesn’t want us to end up broken hearted or broken minded. Therefore, call on His name and speak to Him like a friend, He doesn’t bite. Tell Him exactly how you feel, your fears or your expectations, tell Him everything. And then ask Him to guide you, help you to make the decision.
As you do so, be willing to wait to hear from Him, to obey Him and to trust His response. He is not a man neither is He like your heart to lie to you or decieve you.
Be Patient!
God could give you a response almost immediately and other times it may seem like you are getting conflicting answers. Be patient my dear,its perhaps your emotions playing games or trying to impede your clarity.
Take your time to get clarity and peace of mind that comes with guidance and direction from God, please do not rush into a decision.
No amount of time you might spend waiting to get clarity to make a decision could compare to the consequences of a poor or bad decision.
So please, be patient. May the good Lord help us to manifest this fruit of the spirit always in Jesus name.
Be Led by the Holy Spirit
The Holy Spirit is God’s gift to us to enable us do so many things right and one of those things is to make the right decisions, discern situations and the likes…
As we decide not to follow our hearts or logic as we make decisions, the spirit of God, His Holy spirit is who we should follow and allow to guide us to make decisions such as being with that special somebody.
Because the Holy spirit is the spirit of truth, He doesn’t lie, never lies! He is able to search the intent and motives of every heart, He can see the end from the beginning. So why not Him! – John 16:13
If all these sounds like gibberish to you, you need to be friends with Jesus Christ first. Once you accept Jesus Christ into your life, He gives you a gift- the gift of the Holy Spirit.
You should be friends with Him already! And miss out on making heart breaking decisions in the future.