My Dark Night ( What to do with guilt from sin)

On this beautiful Friday night

The skies lit by the moon so bright.

On my black sequin dress shined the light

The night was young

So was I

My red heels matched my ruby woo lips

Swaying to the rhythm of the nights were my hips.

My hands were thrown into the air

The same way caution lost its grasp from my hands

My head swelling from the screams and hype of my friends

It tasted so good,felt so good.

This had to be right, the right path

The taste of freedom, the path of freedom

"Bound" too long to a life without fun

A life shown to me by my folks

The road just too narrow for my liking

made no room for flexibility.

No room to do the things my body wanted

Only concerned about my spirit part

Selfish, don't you think!?

What type of life subjected the body to so much discipline

Only for the spirit body to thrive!


How about the body be freed to do as it pleased

And the Spirit body tags along?

This beautiful night, this night lit by the bright moon

Marked the beginning of my exploration

The beginning of my journey through the broadway

The "beautiful" Broadway

A sting of guilt I felt initially

But was soon drowned by the voices and hype of my friends

They made it feel so good, taste so good!

Sin never tasted better

In the company of these people, it was "worth the while"

In their departure, I am left with my guilt trips

Going back and forth about my new journey

Journey through this loose life

It felt so good but why did I feel empty?

So much emptiness when in my own company.

I had journeyed so far down this round

Could I turn back now?

Would I be accepted through the narrow gates again?

For so long, did I struggle with this dilemna

Taking 5 teps down the broadway and 1 step back the narrow way

Until a beautiful Sunday Morning

A morning, I woke up from one of my really dark nights

A morning that brought an end to my long night

I was so thankful for the sunshine

Opening the curtains to my room

To let in sunlight, I was hit

By the beautiful sun rays and words

Words of a man crying out

Crying out for a turnaround.

My ears itched with curiosity

Turn around from the path of death,

Turn around from the way that seems so right and enjoyable

But was filled with emptiness and death

I recognized that path, that was were I was now.

I Wept.

Wept for hours,

I had been drowning in the ocean of emptiness

Enduring the night & the darkness it brought with it

I had been dying slowly, living in denial of it

Deeply wronged my parents and my father in heaven

I had gone so deep into this hole

I wept.

I deeply grieved from my dirt, rebellion & loose life.

Everything I confessed as I wept

Looking up to heaven from where came the beautiful sunshine

I pleaded for forgiveness

And decided to re-route

Re-route to the path of rightousness

The path that gives life and leads to eternal life.

I slpet off in my sheet drenched from my tears

An image of the heaven I saw

And the road that led to it was narrow

The new path that I had just decided to follow

Beautiful undermines the description of that place.

That is where the action is, I am keeping my face glued there(Colossians 3:2)

That is where I am headed right now,

If you are not

Join me! 

It doesn't matter how dirty you may feel right now or how far gone or deep you are into sin, the blood of Jesus is so potent to wash you and engraft you into the family of Christ.

It is okay to feel bad about your ways that don't please God but do not let that draw you farther away from Him. Let that pain and grief you feel push you closer to God. 

For Godly grief & repentance is permittted to direct, produce a repentance that leads to salvation and deliverance from evil but wordly grief is deadly. II Corithians 7:10

Do not listen to that voice that keeps telling you you are irredeemable
God is merciful and kind, He is a good good God, He is beckoning to you to come back home. Back to Him :)

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