Welcome to eight The eight month of the year The month of "new beginnings" LOOL ( Laughing Out Loud; sadly) The beginning of the continuation of the frustration I have been feeling. That I have gone through in the last seven months Another start to keep asking my same questions Questions directed to the one who says He loves me The one who put me here and seems to have forgotten me Seems not to care for me Seems to be so mute Annoyingly mute even when I question Him Why on earth am I here for? Why on earth did you put me here??? Why am I going through all these by myself What happened to your Promise of walking with me through the storm What happened to you being there for me?! What happened to being my provider and defender? I do not feel defended, I do not feel the shield you said will be there for me. Actually, I feel crushed My bones are in severe pains My eyes swollen from nights of crying myself to sleep My head filled with thoughts of ending it It probably will be alot better There cannot be a greater darkness than the one I see right now There just can't be. Sigh! Perhaps I have been forgotten, probably unforgiven Unforgiven for my sins But I did apologize I am truly sorry, why have you counted my sins against me, my Lord I am deeply and truly sorry. Be Merciful unto me God Let this truly be a fresh start for me Sigh! Can I see the joy you said comes in the morning? My sorrows sure have lasted more than a night Or Is it cause I did not seek your approval before I did it? My mind is in shambles, Jesus couldn't have died for this pain that I feel Wasn't He wounded so I do not have to go through such an ordeal?----------- For seven seasons of your life, You have been questioning my existence. Demanding for me to show up Crying and wailing Suggesting that that I have forsaken you Thinking I would hold a grudge against you after you have asked for forgiveness. My mercy endures forever and it is new everyday Ask for it and it flows out generously to be consumed by my children And you are one of my children I have not forgotten you! How can I ?! From your mother's womb I already knew you, Even when you make your bed in the darkest darkness, I see you my love. I see you I see all your tears my child But I have been with you all this while my child Your sight was clouded by your teary eyes Your ears deafened by your loud and uncontrollable sobs Through your fiery furnace, I am there Through your scariest storm , I am there Shielding you from drowning Protecting you from getting scorched in the fire What you don’t know is that I am stretching you Moulding you to become all that I want To produce a man of faith A woman who can persevere like my son Jesus 7 seasons from now, you’d appreciate what I am doing in your life You would see the whole picture, behold it's beauty Because in your seventh season is where and when I bring you to completion. So my dear Forget whatever it is you are going through Forget your past pains Fix your focus on me Let your eyes meet mine Let your ears be tuned to my word Because I am doing a new thing It’s about to spring up I’d cause water to break forth for your sake, even in your desert I will make a glorious pathway for you in the midst of oceans of water.-Isaiah 43:13 Inspired by Isaiah 43