On a Breezy summer evening
It was the evening of a slightly windy day; I stepped out of the crammed-up space which I shared with my two lovely boys John & James.
The wind looked promising, it looked like it could splash some ray of light and hope on me.
I had spent the early afternoon up until now crying my eyes out, questioning the choices I had made in the last 11 years of my life.
Now, I sense the Lord asking me to do the hardest thing in my life. To leave the comfort of my home, career & now familiar terrain into the unknown.
This must be me hearing things, I perhaps did not hear clearly. The wind must have brought with it some confusion the day I started to sense this leading.
I have cried out to my God for clarity because I cannot afford to risk it all and lose it all. I just cannot!
I had to lock myself up in the little closest I share with my boys in order to stifle my cries. I wanted only my God to know my hurt, to bear this vast burden that has now seemed to consume every part of me.
I do not want my 9year old sons to become accustomed to the burdensome reality of life just yet.
Now that I was spent & gasping for air, I sure needed that fresh breathe air.
So I turned on the TV as usual for my boys and instructed them to stay put till I came back.
And I walked out. Walked out of the pain and depression this crammed-up space represented. I walked into the park about 5 minutes away from my home.
I did a merry-go-round in the park for I don’t know how long till I settled on a bench that faced the skyline of the city which was miles away from me. The skyline looked like the possibilities of my future if I could keep my focus up. Up on the good Lord who has helped me this much.
As I continued to take in the beauty of the view ahead of me; I felt a different type of wind blow over me.
At that moment, it felt like time stood still. I felt stillness and Peace in my heart and I heard the small still voice I had been crying out for in my closet.
I heard Him say, cast your net into the deep. I will sail you through.
As soon as I heard that, my heart was filled with so much joy from the knowing!!! Knowing God is leading me into this new phase and season of my life.
So much joy from receiving the confirmation and clarification I needed from the Lord.
The United States here I come!!! Although I do not know how I would sail through, My God will sail me through!!!!
Do I sail through smoothly? Find out next week